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Post by Shea on Aug 7, 2014 1:23:29 GMT
Markus let Bryant push him up, as much as he wanted to keep his face hidden. He felt so ridiculous, crying over something he'd long ago accepted. Death came early for hunters. It was how it worked; the sacrifice they all made to do a little bit of good.
But right then he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to run and take Bryant with him, hide away from the world. But he knew neither of them were fit for that life, and it made his heart ache. One day, one of them would lose the other.
"No," Markus murmured, looking everywhere but at Bryant's face. "I was scared to say how I felt because I was terrified of rejection." It was easier to talk about that then them dying. No matter what Bryant said, they both knew those words were empty. They weren't promised tomorrow. They weren't even promised the next few hours.
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Post by Lizzie on Aug 7, 2014 2:01:45 GMT
Making a face, Bryant sighed out, tilting his chin up to him and brushing the tears from his cheeks. He wasn't used to being gentle and he wasn't used to seeing Markus cry. He wasn't used to a lot of stuff that was happening tonight. "Markus, it's scary. I'm worried about losing you, it's not that I'm not but...fuck if we break down right now then what? We'll never get these minutes back and hell...if we waste every fucking minute we have been afraid of death and losing each other than why be scared in the first place? We'd just be being scared of being out more time to fucking worry, babe just..."
He tried kissing him, then rest his forehead against the other hunter's. "We should go away for a while. You and me...."
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Post by Shea on Aug 7, 2014 5:17:08 GMT
"No!" Markus didn't mean to raise his voice, and he sucked in a breath that did nothing to calm him. "No," he said more quietly. "I'm tired of acting like my emotional range is pissed off to sullen. I'm tired of making myself miserable, worrying over everything, feeling so fucking lost and helpless!"
Shifting off Bryant's lap, he swing his legs over the side of the bed. Elbows on his knees, he rested his head in his hands and took a few, steadying breaths. He wasn't sure where the outburst had come from. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say. His head was a jumbled mess.
A humorless laugh fell from his lips. "Go away for a while? Where the hell would we even go? This is our life, Bryant. Running and killing and eventually dying. Can you imagine us trying to have some sort of fucking vacation, like some normal fucking couple?"
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Post by Lizzie on Sept 7, 2014 3:02:56 GMT
Bryant sighed, watching him. Where had tonight even gone? He could barely remember where it had began after everything that had taken place in that little room. All of this was so much more than he'd ever expected to come out of a conversation between them. They didn't...exactly talk about feelings much. They talked about work, complained, fucked, bickered and then went to kill more shit. There were hints of something more, sometimes, but mostly unspoken and skipped over as the tension would grow too thick in the moment. But, this time, he wasn't going to shy away from the tension, instead, he ran a hand over his back, then gripped the shoulder farthest away from him. The look of concern he wore was out of the ordinary for him, but hard to mask. "Mark...it's alright. You...don't gotta act anyway you don't want to, yknow? I never said I wanted to fuck a moody cactus for the rest of my life and...unless you start acting like some love sick high school girl i'm not gonna be turned off of you." The healer sighed. "But..there's no point worryin' about me dying when I ain't dead yet. It'll take a lot to kill me as long as I'm still bound with Daeven."
Brushing a hand through his dark hair, he managed a chuckle. "And yeah a vacation. What's wrong with that? Let other people kill shit for a while. Find a cabin in the mountains and just be....somewhere away from all of this shit for a while."
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Post by Shea on Sept 7, 2014 4:12:17 GMT
The way Bryant looked at him, concern softening his features into something he was so unused to made his heart ache. The idea of them leaving, getting away, if only for a few days, appealed to him more than he wanted to admit. It would be so nice, to pretend this wasn't their lives. Where they could just be together and be happy.
But... that wasn't them, was it? They were made from death and suffering. How could they pretend to act normal? They could barely do that for a few minutes; to do it for days?
"A cabin..." he sighed, the longing in his voice so painful to his own ears. But he looked down at his scarred hands, and his tone darkened. "So we can fuck, and fight, and fuck? And ruin that place? We'd go crazy. We'd start researching, we'd start planning hunts..."
Looking to Bryant, lost and hopeless, he admitted, "I don't know HOW to be normal."
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Post by Lizzie on Sept 8, 2014 22:57:25 GMT
Bryant shrugged. He supposed Markus was right. Honestly, after all this time he had forgotten what normal was, as well. Letting out a sigh and running a hand through his half shaved hair he responded. "Fuck if I know. I just. Guess I wanted to try for a few days, yknow? take a break from almost dying every day. But you're right. We're fucking creatures of habit."
His hand came to rest low on Markus' back. "Guess it just sounds good in theory right now."
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Post by Shea on Sept 21, 2014 2:42:17 GMT
Markus looked at him with defeated eyes. Some days, he wondered why he was still a hunter. Why he hadn't forsaken the life that had damned him and lived in peace. Why he risked his life so often for a cause that seemed hopeless. What was he doing, aside from tempting reapers? Saving someone he didn't know, just to have them die anyway?
He sighed and leaned against Bryant. He was warm, and it was nice to think about getting away for a few days. To just relax, enjoy each other's company. Maybe it wasn't such a silly idea. Maybe it was okay, and possible, for them to escape and pretend their lives were normal.
"I.. there's a cabin, up near the mountains. Close to a waterfall and a valley. It... it's Con's safe house. I've been there, a few times. It was his little bit of paradise when being a hunter got to be too much. Said it was good, to recharge. Even after... we split, he said I should go sometime. Clear my head when things started getting fuzzy. We could... go, for even just a day. If you wanted. Maybe try. Maybe he and Jaime are right about needing to take time, sometimes..." he knew he was rambling, and he stopped talking with a clink of teeth as his jaw snapped shut.
Hadn't he just been the one to oppose the idea?
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